1. My dad gave me 100 and asked me to buy a pack of cigarettes. The store didn’t sell them, so I secretly bought a lollipop and took it back. The family said a dollar had dropped.

2. I held my urine from Wuhan to Tianjin. I called it the South-to-North Water Diversion. I went from Guangzhou to Beijing with a piece of shit in my crotch, and I called it the Belt and Road Initiative.

3. Ju Jingyi chewed a mouthful of bread 33 times, and I chewed it so many times. My mother scolded me to get out because I didn’t want to eat.

4. There was a person who wanted to name his child Zhang San, but finally named Zhang Sirui.

　5. “I want to be the Pirate King!” “…Shanghai police are very powerful.”

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　6. You can’t hide your love. Even if you hide it in the closet, your husband will still find it.

7. Xiaoyu was caught cheating on the exam. Teacher: Whose did you copy? Xiaoyu: I copied from the clam. Teacher: You are awesome!

8. My classmate complained to me as soon as we met, saying that he had been having night sweats some time ago and would sweat when he fell asleep. He spent hundreds of dollars on hospital examinations, and later found another doctor. The old Chinese medicine doctor prescribed more than ten Chinese medicines, but they didn't work even after drinking them, and they became worse day by day. I asked: "What happened next? How were you cured?" When I asked this, I clearly saw the corners of my classmate's mouth twitch, and he said angrily: "I changed to a thin quilt."

　9. I A friend's fortune telling last year said that this year he would be destined to be in love and would be deeply hurt by a woman who suddenly appeared. Yesterday, he was hit by a aunt riding an electric car at the corner and is still lying in the hospital.

10. Once I went to the hospital for acute gastroenteritis and was in excruciating pain. My dad came to see me and told me with an anxious look, why the hospital couldn’t even connect to a wifi.

11. When my parents quarreled and cursed a lot, they would always turn around and tell me it was in English. I am in elementary school, and I will never forget what the teacher asked me on the first day of class: Who can speak English?

　12. Not wanting to be single anymore, I went to the temple to pray to the Bodhisattvas. The Bodhisattva rejected my proposal.

13. Looking back on your green years, is there a woman who once made you blush? "Yes, Lao Ganma"

14. Although in order to solve this difficult case as soon as possible, the criminal police The brigade had not slept a wink for several days and nights, but there was still no progress. At this time, fortunately, the experienced police officer Wang took action in time and used his wonderful reasoning to make everyone have a good sleep.

15. Some girls are really reasonable. As long as you apologize sincerely, they will forgive you even if you are not wrong at all.

16. Ah! You are as beautiful as a flower, oh! I am as ugly as mud, hey! Why do you love me? Hey! Because flowers cannot live without mud.